Saturday, August 1, 2015

Off to the doctor and then some



So ten years ago today my wife took me to the doctor.  I had been lying on the sofa for a week feeling miserable and thinking that in had a cold.  In my defense I had a 105 fever so I really didn’t know what was going on.

After my wife dragged me, literally, to the doctor things went pretty quickly.  I must have looked and been worse off than I felt.  I vaguely remember being hooked up to a machine to check my blood oxygen levels.  I didn’t know what it meant that the reading was 87 but I could tell by the reaction that it wasn’t good.  I sat there and tried to will the nmber higher. Really, I did.  I was delusional – remember the 105 fever?

So the doctor called 911 and I was taken to the ER by ambulance.  I don’t remember much of that either.  By the time I was in the ER I didn’t even know where I was.  At one point I asked my wife to get me batteries for the hand held fan I had been using to try to keep cool.  I thought I was on the sofa and she only had to go to the next room.  She actually had to go out to a store, which she did.

My wife is wonderful.

I don’t remember having trouble breathing but I did.  I have a partial memory of the doctors in the ER trying a CPAP machine on me.  That was like trying to breathe with my head hanging out of the window of a car doing about 100 mph.  It did not work.

So they told me that I had pneumonia and that they were going to have to intubate me and it would be for three or four days.  I asked them to put me under first and that’s the last conscious memory I have until I woke up and my wife told me it had been six and a half weeks.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

I was still sick


I just didn’t know how sick.

The next morning I still felt pretty bad.  My general rule was always that if I could work and it was safe for me to get back and forth (it was a long drive) I would go in – and try not to infect anyone else.  That usually meant that if I had a fever I stayed home.  The day after I started feeling sick I was already bad enough that I called in sick to work.

I tried to work from home and I did get some things done.  I don’t think it was much and I don’t really remember any of it.

But when I got home from the hospital a little more than two months later I logged on to my work email.  Don’t ask me why because I can’t give you a good explanation, something about work ethic or possibly my mental state.  Whatever.  But it did lead to a very funny moment.

When I checked my email I saw an exchange between me and some folks at work.  They were looking for some documents and hoping that I knew where some backups might be.  It turned out that I did know, I told them and things worked out OK.

The funny part to me is that I don’t remember any of this and I did the whole thing with a 103 fever.

I was barely coherent and no one on the other end knew it.  That struck me as being very funny.  I’m sure it says something about me, but I’m not sure what.

Monday, July 27, 2015

And it began



This is the day that I started feeling sick ten years ago.  It’s not really the beginning.  Allowing for the incubation period that was possibly two weeks earlier, but this is when I first noticed that something was going on.

I thought I had a cold.  We had taken our cats to the vet for routine stuff and as we left I started to feel a little light headed.  I could tell that something was wrong and that I was bad enough that I asked my wife to drive home.

I remember that moment very well.  I remember walking around to the passenger side of the car and seeing the sky.  It was a swath of purple with streaks of yellow and orange with the darkening blue sky pushing the sunset down to the horizon.  There was just the minimum of clouds needed to highlight the whole scene and add depth.

I remember that scene and it frightens me because I remember what came later.

After we got home I collapsed, but still thought I just had a cold.  That’s pretty much the theme here.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Personal History




Some time this week of July 2010 I contracted Legionnaires’ Disease.

That was the start of a whole mess of stuff and some of it is still going on today.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

IN CONGRESS. July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

     WE hold the Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that when any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.  Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed.  But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security.  Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.  The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.  To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

     He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

     He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

     He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Rights of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

     He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

     He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

     He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

     He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

     He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

     He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

     He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.

     He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislatures.

     He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

     He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

     For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

     For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these States:

     For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

     For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

     For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

     For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

     For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule into these Colonies:

     For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

     For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.

     He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

     He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

     He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy of the Head of a civilized Nation.

     He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

     He has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

     In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury.  A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

     Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren.  We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us.  We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here.  We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence.  They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity.  We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

     We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do.  And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.