Well, maybe not all wet, but NASA confirms that there is water on Mars.
It's no earth-shaking announcement, but it is interesting.
That's all for now. I've been pretty tired lately, I'll try to post more in the future.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Whatshisname
All right, here's a quick test.
Name the three major credit reporting agencies.
I bet you missed one.
Name the actors who played the Magnificent Seven*.
I bet you missed one, and it was the big guy who was sure there was gold there.
Are there other groups of things where the same one is always missed? I can't think of any others myself right now.
There should be a name for this phenomenon.
* I love a good Horst Bucholz movie.
Name the three major credit reporting agencies.
I bet you missed one.
Name the actors who played the Magnificent Seven*.
I bet you missed one, and it was the big guy who was sure there was gold there.
Are there other groups of things where the same one is always missed? I can't think of any others myself right now.
There should be a name for this phenomenon.
* I love a good Horst Bucholz movie.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
July 27th, 2005, revisited
Three years ago today I called in sick to work.
In 20+ years as a professional I know I called in sick at least once when I wasn’t, maybe twice, but I didn’t make a habit of it. When I called in sick I was sick and I had certain criteria for doing it. If I were too sick to function well and actually work, or if I was too sick to safely get to or from work, or if I had a fever (which had to be high enough to feel like I had one before I even checked it anyway) I would consider calling in sick legitimate. There were times when I felt too sick to work, or when I was just sick but not really bad, that I went in anyway. If I got anyone else sick on those occasions I apologize.
I bring this up because there are those times when you wonder if people at work really believe that you are sick or if they think you just want a day or two off. When I called in it was late July, the weather was nice, and some may have thought that I just wanted to get out of work for a while. It was a Wednesday, so I could get a few days out of it. Like I said, I didn’t do that sort of thing, but the thought has crossed my mind.
I guess if anybody thought I was slacking off they that time changed their minds. Sometimes I put it as: I called in sick and never went back.
There’s something related that I, in my darkly humored way, find funny. After a certain number of days, my work, reasonably, wanted a doctor’s note explaining what was going on. I saw the form that my wife sent in to work to confirm that I was too sick to be there. There’s a space on it for the doctor to fill in the reason. The doctor wrote in “Critically ill”. I guess that’s a good reason.
Also, some time after I got home from the hospital, I was going through my email and I came across some from the 27th or the 28th, I don’t remember at this point. Apparently people at work were looking for some information about a project and they got in touch with me about it. As most people at work did, when I was home sick I still took calls and answered email and sometimes even worked from home. What I found funny was that I was being asked questions, and people were accepting my answers, but looking back on it with perspective I realized that at the time I had a fever of at least 102 and climbing. I hope I was giving them the right information.
Anyway, that struck me as funny as well. I told you I had a sick (pun intended) sense of humor.
In 20+ years as a professional I know I called in sick at least once when I wasn’t, maybe twice, but I didn’t make a habit of it. When I called in sick I was sick and I had certain criteria for doing it. If I were too sick to function well and actually work, or if I was too sick to safely get to or from work, or if I had a fever (which had to be high enough to feel like I had one before I even checked it anyway) I would consider calling in sick legitimate. There were times when I felt too sick to work, or when I was just sick but not really bad, that I went in anyway. If I got anyone else sick on those occasions I apologize.
I bring this up because there are those times when you wonder if people at work really believe that you are sick or if they think you just want a day or two off. When I called in it was late July, the weather was nice, and some may have thought that I just wanted to get out of work for a while. It was a Wednesday, so I could get a few days out of it. Like I said, I didn’t do that sort of thing, but the thought has crossed my mind.
I guess if anybody thought I was slacking off they that time changed their minds. Sometimes I put it as: I called in sick and never went back.
There’s something related that I, in my darkly humored way, find funny. After a certain number of days, my work, reasonably, wanted a doctor’s note explaining what was going on. I saw the form that my wife sent in to work to confirm that I was too sick to be there. There’s a space on it for the doctor to fill in the reason. The doctor wrote in “Critically ill”. I guess that’s a good reason.
Also, some time after I got home from the hospital, I was going through my email and I came across some from the 27th or the 28th, I don’t remember at this point. Apparently people at work were looking for some information about a project and they got in touch with me about it. As most people at work did, when I was home sick I still took calls and answered email and sometimes even worked from home. What I found funny was that I was being asked questions, and people were accepting my answers, but looking back on it with perspective I realized that at the time I had a fever of at least 102 and climbing. I hope I was giving them the right information.
Anyway, that struck me as funny as well. I told you I had a sick (pun intended) sense of humor.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
July 26th, 2005, revisited
Three years ago today I started to feel sick.
My wife and I had taken the cats to the vet for a routine visit. We left the vet late in the day, but it was still light out. The sun was low in the sky, but the sky was still blue, the clouds lit from beneath in that nice burnished orange from the setting sun. It had been a warm, somewhat humid summer day, and the sky was full of clouds. I can see that image in my head.
As we left the vet and loaded up the car with cats, I was feeling sick. Nothing too bad, just a little weak and a little light-headed. I was hoping that I was just tired, but I knew that I was probably sick. So, since my head wasn’t very clear, I asked my wife to drive home and I got in on the passenger side. There was nothing remarkable about the day at that point. I don’t really remember anything else from that day, and I wouldn’t expect to. It was just a Tuesday night.
Nothing remarkable at the time but as I sit here typing this I am beginning to shake. I have been trying to get my head around what happened to me, and lately I have been doing better at examining things more closely, as a personal experience and not just an abstract memory. The better I get at that the harder it is to face.
It is hard to accept that I almost died. It is even harder to try to accept it. I need to face this and I do not want to. I should go on and work this out, but I can’t. I don’t want to deal with the consequences right this minute. I’m going to stop now.
My wife and I had taken the cats to the vet for a routine visit. We left the vet late in the day, but it was still light out. The sun was low in the sky, but the sky was still blue, the clouds lit from beneath in that nice burnished orange from the setting sun. It had been a warm, somewhat humid summer day, and the sky was full of clouds. I can see that image in my head.
As we left the vet and loaded up the car with cats, I was feeling sick. Nothing too bad, just a little weak and a little light-headed. I was hoping that I was just tired, but I knew that I was probably sick. So, since my head wasn’t very clear, I asked my wife to drive home and I got in on the passenger side. There was nothing remarkable about the day at that point. I don’t really remember anything else from that day, and I wouldn’t expect to. It was just a Tuesday night.
Nothing remarkable at the time but as I sit here typing this I am beginning to shake. I have been trying to get my head around what happened to me, and lately I have been doing better at examining things more closely, as a personal experience and not just an abstract memory. The better I get at that the harder it is to face.
It is hard to accept that I almost died. It is even harder to try to accept it. I need to face this and I do not want to. I should go on and work this out, but I can’t. I don’t want to deal with the consequences right this minute. I’m going to stop now.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Assholes
Just like health insurance companies decree that anyone can be healed after 10 visits for physical therapy, my long-term disability insurance company has decided that I can return to work.
Yep, apparently I can go back to work because there isn't really anything wrong with me. Just like that I'm all better. All they have to do is decide that I can work and suddenly I can work.
Assholes. Do they really think I'm doing this because it's fun? Just because it's hard to understand what's wrong with me doesn't mean that there isn't something wrong with me. Looks like I'm not the only one in denial.
Yep, apparently I can go back to work because there isn't really anything wrong with me. Just like that I'm all better. All they have to do is decide that I can work and suddenly I can work.
Assholes. Do they really think I'm doing this because it's fun? Just because it's hard to understand what's wrong with me doesn't mean that there isn't something wrong with me. Looks like I'm not the only one in denial.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Cough, wheeze
Hey guess what. I have asthma!
Ain’t that great?
I had a breathing study done a little while ago and the doctor decided to test for asthma. I passed, or failed, or whatever. Now I get to try new medications: Asmanex and Singulair.
Interestingly, my primary care doctor just gave me a prescription for Singulair. I think he was going to give me Asmanex (he mentioned an inhaled steroid but not by name), but decided to use the Singulair instead. I have to ask him about that. At the time he didn’t know about the asthma, he just thought it would help my breathing.
Anyway, I just thought I’d post the new info.
Also, today I hit doctor visit #17 since the end of May. Yipee.
Ain’t that great?
I had a breathing study done a little while ago and the doctor decided to test for asthma. I passed, or failed, or whatever. Now I get to try new medications: Asmanex and Singulair.
Interestingly, my primary care doctor just gave me a prescription for Singulair. I think he was going to give me Asmanex (he mentioned an inhaled steroid but not by name), but decided to use the Singulair instead. I have to ask him about that. At the time he didn’t know about the asthma, he just thought it would help my breathing.
Anyway, I just thought I’d post the new info.
Also, today I hit doctor visit #17 since the end of May. Yipee.
Hoarse, but still a cat
Just a quick update to say that the oppressed cat who was dragged to the vet is doing OK. He made himself hoarse complaining so much in the car, but he is otherwise OK. He hates taking pills, but he's not violent about it. So things should be good with him, we'll just keep an eye out for any more problems. Right now he's asleep on the bed.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Can we have rabbits?
The best laid plans post for today.
I was going to write a very insightful post into my own and the human condition, but …
One of our male cats was making some very odd sounds today, pained sounds, as he was trying to use the litter box. This cat has a family history of urinary blockage, a problem for some cats that can be very dangerous. So, as soon as we realized what was going on, and he kept trying to go with no result, my wife called the vet and I put on my shoes and we stuffed the poor creature into a carrier and I ran him off to the vet.
He was not amused.
He was, however, OK. If he had a blockage, it was gone before he got to the vet, and since the carrier was dry he must have peed at home. So, he had some signs of irritation (description omitted to protect the poor cat’s privacy), but was otherwise healthy. I brought him home with some meds to settle any inflammation and treat an infection which he may have (they couldn’t be sure but decided to treat him anyway and knowing his lineage I agreed) – namely steroids and antibiotics.
So, stress, and time spent in a car with a cat who was very vocal about his displeasure got me today. I am confronting my limitations. The effort of withstanding the experience in the car alone was enough to wear me down.
I now admit that I need a period of recovery from my many doctor visits. Since I still have four more to come, that means taking it easy in between. So I change my plans for the month, ah well.
Thus endeth the prosaic post. Now where are those rabbits?
I was going to write a very insightful post into my own and the human condition, but …
One of our male cats was making some very odd sounds today, pained sounds, as he was trying to use the litter box. This cat has a family history of urinary blockage, a problem for some cats that can be very dangerous. So, as soon as we realized what was going on, and he kept trying to go with no result, my wife called the vet and I put on my shoes and we stuffed the poor creature into a carrier and I ran him off to the vet.
He was not amused.
He was, however, OK. If he had a blockage, it was gone before he got to the vet, and since the carrier was dry he must have peed at home. So, he had some signs of irritation (description omitted to protect the poor cat’s privacy), but was otherwise healthy. I brought him home with some meds to settle any inflammation and treat an infection which he may have (they couldn’t be sure but decided to treat him anyway and knowing his lineage I agreed) – namely steroids and antibiotics.
So, stress, and time spent in a car with a cat who was very vocal about his displeasure got me today. I am confronting my limitations. The effort of withstanding the experience in the car alone was enough to wear me down.
I now admit that I need a period of recovery from my many doctor visits. Since I still have four more to come, that means taking it easy in between. So I change my plans for the month, ah well.
Thus endeth the prosaic post. Now where are those rabbits?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Jabberwocky – some nonsense posting
I had to run to the doctor today to pick up some scrips and samples. Naturally – well, unexpectedly, I came home and slept for a few hours.
Today’s words of wisdom, otherwise known as nonsense and bother, will have to wait until tomorrow.
For tonight, let us note the anniversary of the end of the Scopes trial in 1925, and marvel at how far we have come in teaching science in this country since then.
And in 1899 Ernest Hemingway was born. Six toed cats the world over celebrate this day with parties.
Today’s words of wisdom, otherwise known as nonsense and bother, will have to wait until tomorrow.
For tonight, let us note the anniversary of the end of the Scopes trial in 1925, and marvel at how far we have come in teaching science in this country since then.
And in 1899 Ernest Hemingway was born. Six toed cats the world over celebrate this day with parties.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
One Small Step
Thirty nine years ago today, Neil Armstrong stepped onto the Moon. Buzz Aldrin followed and Michael Collins orbited above in the Command Module. I remember being allowed to stay up, or I should say my parents let me get out of bed, to watch the grainy black and white picture on our old B&W TV. It was incredible.
We have gone virtually nowhere since then, even though we had the ability to reach out into space. Some day I’m sure we will. It’s all a matter of profit. Exploration, or rather its funding, always is.
But whatever the motivation, it was done, and for the people in the trenches not a small part of the reason was personal pride and a sense of history. I’ve seen some interviews with those involved and they weren’t working just for the money, they knew that lives were on the line and history was being made.
So I wanted to mark the day.
We have gone virtually nowhere since then, even though we had the ability to reach out into space. Some day I’m sure we will. It’s all a matter of profit. Exploration, or rather its funding, always is.
But whatever the motivation, it was done, and for the people in the trenches not a small part of the reason was personal pride and a sense of history. I’ve seen some interviews with those involved and they weren’t working just for the money, they knew that lives were on the line and history was being made.
So I wanted to mark the day.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Red Planet
Just coming to here briefly to post a bit. After yesterday’s collapse I still had to go to a doctor today, then came home and slept for a while.
I just wanted to mention some more interesting Mars news. Data gathered by another NASA craft, the Reconnaissance Orbiter, show evidence of lots of water in the past. Pretty cool. Of course it doesn’t prove anything, but I think it’s interesting, and the pictures are amazing. Go to www.nasa.gov to see some of the shots.
Also, one of the ovens on the Phoenix Lander has a short-circuit and this may interfere with some of the experiments designed to find traces of life. Just a coincidence? Hmmm.
I just wanted to mention some more interesting Mars news. Data gathered by another NASA craft, the Reconnaissance Orbiter, show evidence of lots of water in the past. Pretty cool. Of course it doesn’t prove anything, but I think it’s interesting, and the pictures are amazing. Go to www.nasa.gov to see some of the shots.
Also, one of the ovens on the Phoenix Lander has a short-circuit and this may interfere with some of the experiments designed to find traces of life. Just a coincidence? Hmmm.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Crash and Burn
Did I say something about handling things well? I was wrong.
I’ve been pushing through the long series of doctors and such, and a week or so ago I thought that I was slowing down and needed to take it easy. As it turns out, I was already too far gone. I had to run to the store today; I made it home but barely.
Seriously, I came home and completely lost it: no energy, couldn’t move, couldn’t even sit up straight, and mentally fried beyond belief.
It’s funny, earlier today I thought that maybe I was pushing a little too hard and might be feeling too optimistic. Yeah, I was too optimistic. Tonight was a crash like I haven’t had in quite a while.
Anyway, just a little update here. I am better than I was last year, but boy do I have a long way to go.
I’ve been pushing through the long series of doctors and such, and a week or so ago I thought that I was slowing down and needed to take it easy. As it turns out, I was already too far gone. I had to run to the store today; I made it home but barely.
Seriously, I came home and completely lost it: no energy, couldn’t move, couldn’t even sit up straight, and mentally fried beyond belief.
It’s funny, earlier today I thought that maybe I was pushing a little too hard and might be feeling too optimistic. Yeah, I was too optimistic. Tonight was a crash like I haven’t had in quite a while.
Anyway, just a little update here. I am better than I was last year, but boy do I have a long way to go.
July 16th, 2005, revisited
Three years ago today I got sick.
Sometime in the middle of July 2005, around this date, I inhaled a large quantity of legionella bacteria and they started invading the cells of my lungs.
I didn’t feel sick yet. I had no idea what was going on inside of my body. I wouldn’t feel sick for more than a week, and it would be considerably longer before I knew what was going on – or had been going on.
But for now, back then, I was unaware of what was to come.
Sometime in the middle of July 2005, around this date, I inhaled a large quantity of legionella bacteria and they started invading the cells of my lungs.
I didn’t feel sick yet. I had no idea what was going on inside of my body. I wouldn’t feel sick for more than a week, and it would be considerably longer before I knew what was going on – or had been going on.
But for now, back then, I was unaware of what was to come.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Do as I say ...
I was reading a book yesterday, nothing deep or anything, just a novel that was a good read. I think I might have mentioned before that, while I used to read a lot, lately this hasn’t been the case. So, yay! But when I put the book down to go to bed, I got to thinking. I wanted to finish the book the next day, since I was relatively close to the end, but I don’t read that fast these days. And the next day would be today, Monday. Monday is not a day you take off to just read a book.
Oh sure, when I was a kid and out of school for the summer, heck yeah I read every day and at all hours of the night. But I am not a kid anymore. I am not working, but that is a problem, not a vacation. I have to spend every day doing something to get myself back into shape to get back to work. Even if I am just thinking about what to do. Except that I don’t because I can’t. In fact, I shouldn’t.
I have been told to not over-think things, what someone called analysis paralysis. I have been told not to worry to the point of distraction and inaction. I have been told that I need to make time for myself. Did I listen? Of course not. Every time I do something that I consider to be unproductive towards my recovery I feel guilty. I’ve felt guilty for three years now.
On weekdays, when I’m not just taking care of daily life, I try to do things to train myself mentally and physically for work. On weekends I try to think of more ways to train myself and feel guilty that I didn’t suddenly recover fully during the previous week. That hit me yesterday. I could not give myself enough leeway to actually take some time just to read. The funny thing is that reading helps me, but I was enjoying this so I had to feel guilty about it. Damn I’m turning into a Puritan.
I am in between doctor appointments, none till Thursday; I have written letters to people about my long term disability and I spent literally all of my non-doctor energy last week researching ERISA law and disability attorneys (oh joy); I can do nothing with Social Security but wait for them to schedule a hearing; I have finished my knee shots and now need to wait for that to work its way into the nooks and crannies as it were; I have researched to the point of mental oblivion my options for training myself for work – but I have found some new options; I am twisting my brain into extra-contorted convolutions trying to create work-arounds for my deficits and also to better compartmentalize the overwhelmingly overlapping issues that are spinning around in there:
And I can’t give myself a freaking half-day off to read.
Am I f@#$ing nuts? Don’t answer that question.
This is definitely something that I have to work on. One more for the list. It’s a matter of setting my schedule by my own needs and not letting others – insurance companies, lawyers – set things for me. You know, that sounds like good advice, and is the real point of this post. Consider the rest background.
And yes, I did finish the book. I had to force myself not to start doing other things, but I did finish the book and I enjoyed it. It was a good read.
Oh sure, when I was a kid and out of school for the summer, heck yeah I read every day and at all hours of the night. But I am not a kid anymore. I am not working, but that is a problem, not a vacation. I have to spend every day doing something to get myself back into shape to get back to work. Even if I am just thinking about what to do. Except that I don’t because I can’t. In fact, I shouldn’t.
I have been told to not over-think things, what someone called analysis paralysis. I have been told not to worry to the point of distraction and inaction. I have been told that I need to make time for myself. Did I listen? Of course not. Every time I do something that I consider to be unproductive towards my recovery I feel guilty. I’ve felt guilty for three years now.
On weekdays, when I’m not just taking care of daily life, I try to do things to train myself mentally and physically for work. On weekends I try to think of more ways to train myself and feel guilty that I didn’t suddenly recover fully during the previous week. That hit me yesterday. I could not give myself enough leeway to actually take some time just to read. The funny thing is that reading helps me, but I was enjoying this so I had to feel guilty about it. Damn I’m turning into a Puritan.
I am in between doctor appointments, none till Thursday; I have written letters to people about my long term disability and I spent literally all of my non-doctor energy last week researching ERISA law and disability attorneys (oh joy); I can do nothing with Social Security but wait for them to schedule a hearing; I have finished my knee shots and now need to wait for that to work its way into the nooks and crannies as it were; I have researched to the point of mental oblivion my options for training myself for work – but I have found some new options; I am twisting my brain into extra-contorted convolutions trying to create work-arounds for my deficits and also to better compartmentalize the overwhelmingly overlapping issues that are spinning around in there:
And I can’t give myself a freaking half-day off to read.
Am I f@#$ing nuts? Don’t answer that question.
This is definitely something that I have to work on. One more for the list. It’s a matter of setting my schedule by my own needs and not letting others – insurance companies, lawyers – set things for me. You know, that sounds like good advice, and is the real point of this post. Consider the rest background.
And yes, I did finish the book. I had to force myself not to start doing other things, but I did finish the book and I enjoyed it. It was a good read.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Mars
Is something going on with Mars? I just heard that Russia is 2 for 16 on Mars missions. They’ve had plenty of success with the Moon and Venus, but no luck with Mars. And while the US has had more successful Mars missions than the USSR, my memory is that most of them were early flyby and stationary explorers. While the Mars rovers have long outlasted their guaranteed time-frames and have returned some incredible pictures and information, they are limited in scope, ability, speed and range. Even the Phoenix lander, which may soon return truly life-altering data, is limited in its scope.
The other recent high-profile missions met with disaster.
So, is there something about Mars, or perhaps someone, that is interfering with these missions? OK, I know that interplanetary missions are fraught with danger and that even the most minuscule error can lead to catastrophe (I used to be a programmer, remember?). But I can’t help but think that this all has the makings of a really cool outer space conspiracy theory.
Are there really Martians? Is something else hiding out around Mars? Is Mars itself alive? And what about Naomi?
Anyone know where I can buy a good tin foil hat? I’d prefer something like they had in the film noir detective stories, sort of an aluminum foil fedora.
The other recent high-profile missions met with disaster.
So, is there something about Mars, or perhaps someone, that is interfering with these missions? OK, I know that interplanetary missions are fraught with danger and that even the most minuscule error can lead to catastrophe (I used to be a programmer, remember?). But I can’t help but think that this all has the makings of a really cool outer space conspiracy theory.
Are there really Martians? Is something else hiding out around Mars? Is Mars itself alive? And what about Naomi?
Anyone know where I can buy a good tin foil hat? I’d prefer something like they had in the film noir detective stories, sort of an aluminum foil fedora.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Novus Ordo Seclorum indeed
I was going to post a long rant yesterday, but I decided against it. At this point if you’re reading this I know that you’re the type of person who understands what is going on in the world and you don’t need me to lecture to you.
All I will say is that I am angry and I am saddened by the events of the past few days. For too long now people who have taken an oath to support and defend the Constitution have instead treated it, and any who would object to their behavior, with contempt. The Constitution is ignored and debased and laws are broken with impunity. I am saddened beyond the ability of words to convey. There is no law in this country any more. It has been murdered; not secretly, not in private, not in the dark of night, but live, on national television, accompanied by laughter, and then ignored while people argue over haircuts and lapel pins and other crap.
If I go on I’ll start my rant and I don’t want to do that. I’ll just say that I will try to do more to help with the problems we face as a nation. Both houses of Congress have proven to be populated by craven and criminal sycophants. There are a few exceptions, but I’m too cynical to take much solace in that.
Peace.
If you want to read the rant, it's here.
On July 4th, I posted the Declaration of Independence. I did that because it is my tradition to read the Declaration each Fourth so I wanted to use it as my post. I am profoundly impressed with what the founders did with the Declaration. Whatever their political or personal motivations might have been, what they did benefited every citizen and they did so at the very real risk of their own lives. Politicians since who have declared war may have done so for reasons noble or ignoble, regardless, they did so with no fear for their lives.
I am also inspired by the words and the ideals of the Declaration. Maybe my view is not that of the authors of our nation, exactly, but I like to think that I share the spirit of that ideal. I oppose slavery, discrimination and unequal suffrage and in that respect (and I am sure others) I am not in line with 18th Century American thought. However, I cherish the ideals of individual liberty, freedom of speech and religion and protection from oppression that are embodied in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. They are the ideals I learned as a child.
I may be foolish. I may believe in a vision of the United States that is not based on the ideas of the founders. Maybe I’m the only person in the country who feels the way I do. But I don’t see the country that I was raised to believe in.
Yesterday, Senators who took an oath to support and defend the Constitution instead enshrined into law support for those who would break the law and destroy the Constitution. They also helped to destroy the Constitutional rights of all Americans.
This is just the latest step in a long, slow march of abuse of power, abrogation of authority and capitulation that is as disgusting as it is lawless. I am saddened and angered. No changes in Iraq, no changes in Afghanistan, no accountability, a Congress that throws away its Constitutional authority and ignores the trampling of the Constitution and the flouting of the law by the branch of government charged with enforcing the law. And there is so much more.
I cannot say that I am surprised, but I am disappointed.
Laws are broken and there is no accountability. Charges are made and there is no investigation. Laws are passed that trample the Constitution. I am saddened beyond words.
I do not expect any of this to ever have much effect on me, I hope that it does not, yet I am saddened. It is the principle involved that matters. This nation was built on ideals that lay crushed beneath the feet of those in power. Whatever your political position on the issues, the disregard for the rule of law and for the Constitution must offend you. This goes beyond a matter of Federalist or Anti-Federalist views, this is a move to destroy the fundamental protections that not only support our republic, but the very conventions of community that keep a society from tearing itself apart.
Yes, I am being hyperbolic, but consider this: if certain laws do not apply to others, and this has been clearly stated knowing that breaking these laws was for no other purpose but personal gain, what logic can be used to insist that it is illegal to do anything, say steal? Both acts, illegal wiretapping and theft, were done for personal gain. Warrants could have been obtained, but they weren’t, for no other reason than ego and a grab of power; a job could be sought but wasn’t, for the reason of taking something the easy way. In fact, in this scenario, the warrant was guaranteed while a job may not be so easy to find. So tell me, why do laws apply to anyone if they do not apply to everyone?
I realize that that is an extreme position, but logically, if you destroy the rule of law, the slippery slope will lead either to tyranny or anarchy. I do not believe that we will reach either end, certainly not in my lifetime. But if the current trend is allowed to continue unabated we will either have Mussolini or Robespierre. Probably both.
All I will say is that I am angry and I am saddened by the events of the past few days. For too long now people who have taken an oath to support and defend the Constitution have instead treated it, and any who would object to their behavior, with contempt. The Constitution is ignored and debased and laws are broken with impunity. I am saddened beyond the ability of words to convey. There is no law in this country any more. It has been murdered; not secretly, not in private, not in the dark of night, but live, on national television, accompanied by laughter, and then ignored while people argue over haircuts and lapel pins and other crap.
If I go on I’ll start my rant and I don’t want to do that. I’ll just say that I will try to do more to help with the problems we face as a nation. Both houses of Congress have proven to be populated by craven and criminal sycophants. There are a few exceptions, but I’m too cynical to take much solace in that.
Peace.
If you want to read the rant, it's here.
On July 4th, I posted the Declaration of Independence. I did that because it is my tradition to read the Declaration each Fourth so I wanted to use it as my post. I am profoundly impressed with what the founders did with the Declaration. Whatever their political or personal motivations might have been, what they did benefited every citizen and they did so at the very real risk of their own lives. Politicians since who have declared war may have done so for reasons noble or ignoble, regardless, they did so with no fear for their lives.
I am also inspired by the words and the ideals of the Declaration. Maybe my view is not that of the authors of our nation, exactly, but I like to think that I share the spirit of that ideal. I oppose slavery, discrimination and unequal suffrage and in that respect (and I am sure others) I am not in line with 18th Century American thought. However, I cherish the ideals of individual liberty, freedom of speech and religion and protection from oppression that are embodied in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. They are the ideals I learned as a child.
I may be foolish. I may believe in a vision of the United States that is not based on the ideas of the founders. Maybe I’m the only person in the country who feels the way I do. But I don’t see the country that I was raised to believe in.
Yesterday, Senators who took an oath to support and defend the Constitution instead enshrined into law support for those who would break the law and destroy the Constitution. They also helped to destroy the Constitutional rights of all Americans.
This is just the latest step in a long, slow march of abuse of power, abrogation of authority and capitulation that is as disgusting as it is lawless. I am saddened and angered. No changes in Iraq, no changes in Afghanistan, no accountability, a Congress that throws away its Constitutional authority and ignores the trampling of the Constitution and the flouting of the law by the branch of government charged with enforcing the law. And there is so much more.
I cannot say that I am surprised, but I am disappointed.
Laws are broken and there is no accountability. Charges are made and there is no investigation. Laws are passed that trample the Constitution. I am saddened beyond words.
I do not expect any of this to ever have much effect on me, I hope that it does not, yet I am saddened. It is the principle involved that matters. This nation was built on ideals that lay crushed beneath the feet of those in power. Whatever your political position on the issues, the disregard for the rule of law and for the Constitution must offend you. This goes beyond a matter of Federalist or Anti-Federalist views, this is a move to destroy the fundamental protections that not only support our republic, but the very conventions of community that keep a society from tearing itself apart.
Yes, I am being hyperbolic, but consider this: if certain laws do not apply to others, and this has been clearly stated knowing that breaking these laws was for no other purpose but personal gain, what logic can be used to insist that it is illegal to do anything, say steal? Both acts, illegal wiretapping and theft, were done for personal gain. Warrants could have been obtained, but they weren’t, for no other reason than ego and a grab of power; a job could be sought but wasn’t, for the reason of taking something the easy way. In fact, in this scenario, the warrant was guaranteed while a job may not be so easy to find. So tell me, why do laws apply to anyone if they do not apply to everyone?
I realize that that is an extreme position, but logically, if you destroy the rule of law, the slippery slope will lead either to tyranny or anarchy. I do not believe that we will reach either end, certainly not in my lifetime. But if the current trend is allowed to continue unabated we will either have Mussolini or Robespierre. Probably both.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Coq au Genou
Or, why I am having a cockscomb derivative shot into my knee.
I have a bad knee. It may be the one thing wrong with me that something can be done about (grammar police go away). So I went to an orthopoedist. I had been told that I needed surgery for my knee, so the purpose of this visit was a second opinion. I went to the office, I had my knee x-rayed and the images were conveniently sent digitally to the monitor in the exam room. And there I sat expecting to be discussing surgical remedies for my knee that just won’t support me or work properly. In walks the doctor, the young doctor, and the exam begins. He talks to me and hears my history – open astonishment, quelle surprise – and he manipulates and prods my leg and knee in a variety of inconvenient ways. Then we talk.
I’ve injured that knee a couple of times over the years, and I have some arthritic changes (not helped by gout) and there are problems in there. But he says no surgery. I came to a place that is known for its surgical technique, I am waiting to talk about surgery – which I do not want but think I need – and here the doctor goes and says no surgery. He thinks I need injections. In my knee. Yeah, right. Some lubricant, he says, just a little WD40®.
In. My. Knee.
OK, what he said made sense. My kneecap was grinding away on bone. The probable scenario was that my already unstable knee just didn’t stand a chance once I got sick. Some of you may remember that I was using a cane already after my last gout attack. Two months of immobility plus considerable loss of muscle added up to a knee that just couldn’t recover. So the lack of muscle meant that my knee was unstable and the unstable knee meant that I couldn’t exercise the muscle. You see the dilemma there. The doctor also thought that, without muscle to support the knee, surgery would just make it worse and I stood no chance, no pun intended, of ever having a good knee after that. He also thought that the injections were the best treatment anyway.
Yeah. But a needle in my knee? Sure, it sounded logical. Everything he said made sense, but I don’t like jumping into these things and have I mentioned that I have a problem with medical procedures ever since my hospitalization? An important point here: the doctor asked me if I was as bad with this sort of thing before I got sick. I told him no, because I wasn’t. Very perceptive guy. I like that. Anyway, I agreed to it, freaked out some while waiting for him to get everything ready – even calling my wife on my cell while he was out of the room.
When he came back I was just all excited and eager to get on with things - in a pig’s eye. But I did it anyway. I asked about side effects, he said nope; no problems with blood pressure or any other drugs and it doesn’t get into your system much, right away at least (I mean it has to go somewhere since it wears out). It’s only a problem if you’re allergic to chicken – I am not. It was developed for race horses and is made from cockscombs; hence the title of this post. It is purified sodium hyaluronate, brand name Supartz®.
Voluntarily walking into a doctor’s office, shelling out a good chunk of my almost depleted resources, just so someone can stick a needle in my knee, is not something that I would have believed that I would do. But from the start it seemed to be helping, so I have gone back four times now (meaning five treatments) to have a needle stuck into my knee. And I have been looking forward to it. I suppose if the first shot hadn’t gone so well my attitude would have been different, but this is a treatment that is working. I liked going back. I may be crazy.
For anyone who may need this, it is not as bad as it sounds. They freeze the skin and you barely feel the needle. What I did feel was pressure from the injection, and last week he hit scar tissue which was very bad, but in general it is a very simple, very quick, very good procedure. I go home, ice my knee for a while and fall asleep. A day or two later I’m doing just fine. If you’re not as depleted as I am you’ll probably be good to go the next day. I think the fluid in the knee may cause a problem for anyone at least the rest of the day when you get the shot.
So here I am, with a bunch of lubricant shot into my knee. It feels a little stiff, but definitely more stable. Now I have to adjust to my new configuration. I’ve been walking crooked for so long that normal feels weird. Next up: physical therapy.
Now I am going to crash. For me, getting the shot pretty much takes it all out of me. Your mileage may vary.
ETA: I just thought I'd mention that it was one shot a week with today being the fifth and last shot. I realized that I wasn't clear about that.
And if my silly title wasn't clear, it's just my nonsense French take on coq au vin. Get it, rooster in knee instead of - oh, never mind.
I have a bad knee. It may be the one thing wrong with me that something can be done about (grammar police go away). So I went to an orthopoedist. I had been told that I needed surgery for my knee, so the purpose of this visit was a second opinion. I went to the office, I had my knee x-rayed and the images were conveniently sent digitally to the monitor in the exam room. And there I sat expecting to be discussing surgical remedies for my knee that just won’t support me or work properly. In walks the doctor, the young doctor, and the exam begins. He talks to me and hears my history – open astonishment, quelle surprise – and he manipulates and prods my leg and knee in a variety of inconvenient ways. Then we talk.
I’ve injured that knee a couple of times over the years, and I have some arthritic changes (not helped by gout) and there are problems in there. But he says no surgery. I came to a place that is known for its surgical technique, I am waiting to talk about surgery – which I do not want but think I need – and here the doctor goes and says no surgery. He thinks I need injections. In my knee. Yeah, right. Some lubricant, he says, just a little WD40®.
In. My. Knee.
OK, what he said made sense. My kneecap was grinding away on bone. The probable scenario was that my already unstable knee just didn’t stand a chance once I got sick. Some of you may remember that I was using a cane already after my last gout attack. Two months of immobility plus considerable loss of muscle added up to a knee that just couldn’t recover. So the lack of muscle meant that my knee was unstable and the unstable knee meant that I couldn’t exercise the muscle. You see the dilemma there. The doctor also thought that, without muscle to support the knee, surgery would just make it worse and I stood no chance, no pun intended, of ever having a good knee after that. He also thought that the injections were the best treatment anyway.
Yeah. But a needle in my knee? Sure, it sounded logical. Everything he said made sense, but I don’t like jumping into these things and have I mentioned that I have a problem with medical procedures ever since my hospitalization? An important point here: the doctor asked me if I was as bad with this sort of thing before I got sick. I told him no, because I wasn’t. Very perceptive guy. I like that. Anyway, I agreed to it, freaked out some while waiting for him to get everything ready – even calling my wife on my cell while he was out of the room.
When he came back I was just all excited and eager to get on with things - in a pig’s eye. But I did it anyway. I asked about side effects, he said nope; no problems with blood pressure or any other drugs and it doesn’t get into your system much, right away at least (I mean it has to go somewhere since it wears out). It’s only a problem if you’re allergic to chicken – I am not. It was developed for race horses and is made from cockscombs; hence the title of this post. It is purified sodium hyaluronate, brand name Supartz®.
Voluntarily walking into a doctor’s office, shelling out a good chunk of my almost depleted resources, just so someone can stick a needle in my knee, is not something that I would have believed that I would do. But from the start it seemed to be helping, so I have gone back four times now (meaning five treatments) to have a needle stuck into my knee. And I have been looking forward to it. I suppose if the first shot hadn’t gone so well my attitude would have been different, but this is a treatment that is working. I liked going back. I may be crazy.
For anyone who may need this, it is not as bad as it sounds. They freeze the skin and you barely feel the needle. What I did feel was pressure from the injection, and last week he hit scar tissue which was very bad, but in general it is a very simple, very quick, very good procedure. I go home, ice my knee for a while and fall asleep. A day or two later I’m doing just fine. If you’re not as depleted as I am you’ll probably be good to go the next day. I think the fluid in the knee may cause a problem for anyone at least the rest of the day when you get the shot.
So here I am, with a bunch of lubricant shot into my knee. It feels a little stiff, but definitely more stable. Now I have to adjust to my new configuration. I’ve been walking crooked for so long that normal feels weird. Next up: physical therapy.
Now I am going to crash. For me, getting the shot pretty much takes it all out of me. Your mileage may vary.
ETA: I just thought I'd mention that it was one shot a week with today being the fifth and last shot. I realized that I wasn't clear about that.
And if my silly title wasn't clear, it's just my nonsense French take on coq au vin. Get it, rooster in knee instead of - oh, never mind.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Once more unto the breach
Today was a doctor day*. This time it was one of the physiatrists that I see. This was a follow-up, routine except for how much info I had to recount. I also asked about a Functional Capacity Exam. I can’t get anyone to approve one, so I need to find out what one would cost. Now, I have a good idea what it would cost and I can’t afford it, but I think it will help.
I need to find out what kind of work I can do, if any. I’ve been trying to do this on my own, but I am not being very successful. I’m hoping that the purported experts in this field might be able to help. If I can get an exam, maybe the results will give them some ideas that I haven’t thought of yet. I admit that I do not know every job that exists. I’ve looked at some lists, but I’m sure I’ve missed something. And now that I think of it, there is a master job classification list but my memory is giving me trouble on this one. Anyone remember what that list is called? I’m going to go to Google but I’ll take any suggestion for searches anyone cares to offer.
* That’s number 14 in the last 61/2 weeks.
I need to find out what kind of work I can do, if any. I’ve been trying to do this on my own, but I am not being very successful. I’m hoping that the purported experts in this field might be able to help. If I can get an exam, maybe the results will give them some ideas that I haven’t thought of yet. I admit that I do not know every job that exists. I’ve looked at some lists, but I’m sure I’ve missed something. And now that I think of it, there is a master job classification list but my memory is giving me trouble on this one. Anyone remember what that list is called? I’m going to go to Google but I’ll take any suggestion for searches anyone cares to offer.
* That’s number 14 in the last 61/2 weeks.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Late in the day, as in almost tomorrow, posting
Today was a quiet day. I spent most of yesterday reading, yeah, really, a rediscovered experience for me. And except for a jaunt to the store for some essentials I pretty much blew off anything else today. And you know what, sometimes I just need to do that.
So, my impression of an old fart sitting around talking about his medical problems will just have to wait for another day. For now I am going to take it easy and look for something else to read.
So, my impression of an old fart sitting around talking about his medical problems will just have to wait for another day. For now I am going to take it easy and look for something else to read.
Friday, July 4, 2008
IN CONGRESS. July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
WE hold the Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that when any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Rights of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.
He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.
He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.
He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.
He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislatures.
He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.
He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy of the Head of a civilized Nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.
Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
WE hold the Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that when any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Rights of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.
He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.
He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.
He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.
He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislatures.
He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.
He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy of the Head of a civilized Nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.
Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Fat man in the bathtub
I seem to be lacking in profound statements today. Maybe it’s the approaching holiday, maybe my brain is just fried. I wanted to post on something other than my health today. Why bore you with that when I can bore you with something else? But I am blank. I’ve been too focused on the last few days’ posts and my brain is stuck in medical history gear.
So how about this?
On Monday, fifteen camels, two zebras, several llamas and some pot-bellied pigs escaped from a circus that was touring Amsterdam. Police suspect that a giraffe kicked open the door. The giraffe isn’t talking. Maybe they had the munchies.
And today is Paul Barrere’s birthday. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDp3Grz28mE
So how about this?
On Monday, fifteen camels, two zebras, several llamas and some pot-bellied pigs escaped from a circus that was touring Amsterdam. Police suspect that a giraffe kicked open the door. The giraffe isn’t talking. Maybe they had the munchies.
And today is Paul Barrere’s birthday. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDp3Grz28mE
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Façade
I do well at faking it in social situations. What I do is expend my energy on hiding my deficits. I pretend to be normal. Then when I am home in private I collapse. The exhaustion and pain just overwhelm me. I do well in short bursts, but hiding problems only works socially. It is the very abilities that I am disguising a lack of that are needed for work.
That’s also why I look good on tests: they are short, they are guided and they are very limited in scope. In other words, the tests that I have taken are not the real world.
I think that it’s pretty common for people in my situation to act this way. I am disabled (and relatively new to it). I don’t want to be. I particularly don’t want people who know me to see it. I can’t hide everything but that doesn’t stop me from trying. Hiding things becomes a habit, and is especially a problem when talking to doctors. If you hide stuff from a doctor they can’t help you. But it becomes second nature. It isn’t just accommodation to work around problems, it’s trying to disguise the fact that the problems even exist.
Some of it is self-denial, but it is also a mask to hide the disability from others. It’s also a problem because I don’t look disabled. So, looking able-bodied and trying to act normal makes me look relatively normal so even though I am disabled I don’t look it so I look like I’m trying to fake it or something. That’s a problem.
I don’t want to admit that I am permanently disabled. I want to believe that I can recover fully, even though I know that there are some injuries, for want of a better word, that will not heal. I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m trying to say that I try to hide who I am so the world will think that I am who I was. I suppose that until I understand and accept who I am the world never will see the real me. I don’t think that I am comfortable enough with the reality to expose myself to the world that way. Not yet.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Another day, another doctor
This is an update for friends who I don't want to bore with a tedious email. Instead I'll bore the whole world, bwahahahaha! Ahem. Well, at least people come here by choice. Anyway.
I am doing well, all things considered. Everything is relative these days but I do believe that I have been making improvements. Recent events, I think, show this is true.
In the past five weeks (I checked my calendar) I have had 10 doctor appointments, including 5 new doctors (one of whom was an insurance company doctor, feh) and 2 tests (pulmonary function test and an ENT looking down my trachea - ah, the stories I could tell about that one, and I probably will). Oh, and injections into my knee - cringe inducing, but actually not as bad as you might think. Now, I knew that some of this was coming - not the knee stuff, but a pretty full plate of doctor visits. So I set myself a goal of surviving all of it and of managing my time around the visits without completely falling apart.
Typically, a doctor's appointment is the one thing that I do on that day and more often than not for a day or two after. But that pretty much kills most of the week. I did not want to let that happen to an entire month. I knew that it easily could so I made a conscious effort to keep the rest of my time as unaltered by the doctors as possible. I needed to force myself to at least think of other things. That may not sound like much, but doctors require enough effort that it’s hard to keep going physically or mentally. But I really needed to try, even past the point of exhaustion. I figured that in that way I could be a little more of a real person – and I think I pulled it off pretty well.
It was exhausting, but I expected that, and I managed to keep the days around the appointments as normal* as possible. More importantly, I also managed to keep myself mentally up through it all, more or less – which I am inordinately proud of doing. Since I couldn’t change the physical demands I was trying to work on ways to better handle the mental challenge. I may fall apart at the end of the week, but at least I make it that far – hmm, maybe I’m giving myself too much credit. Well, I’ll take it anyway. I need to see some improvement somewhere.
Therefore I will keep the assessment that I am doing better than last year. However lame the accomplishments, there is no way that last year I would have been able to do this much. With another 6 or 7 appointments in the next month though, I am wondering what the heck I was thinking. Oh boy, July is going to be as much fun as June.
So, that was just some boring detail by way of explanation for feelings of improvement and optimism.
Rambling ends for now.
*A relative term referring to the currently normal state of affairs as impacted by well-known recent events and not any other, or former, state of normalcy.
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