Running on empty

Sorry about being gone for so long. My wife has been having a bad time of it lately, and both of us have had quite a few doctor appointments to go to. Because of that I have been hitting the wall that I run into whenever I do anything for any length of time.

If I have two or three appointments in a week, I can use the next few days to a week to recover. If I do something two or three times a week for two weeks I will reach a limit and need longer to recover. If I do that for more than two weeks I start to go downhill. Whatever rest I get no longer counts towards recovery, at best it just maintains me at my depleted levels. After three or four weeks of this, or if I have a day where I really exert myself, I just keep getting worse. Every day of activity takes me further down. At that point I need to do absolutely nothing for a while and take the time to recover.

I am, however, coming up on an event that will count as one of those major exertions. I know better than to push myself past my limits like this. I’ve done it before, out of necessity, and it hurts. Of course, I’m still going to do this one thing. It’s this coming Sunday, and I will do my best to appear to be a normal person – well, what passes for normal with me. I will talk, and laugh, and let loose my sick sense of humor, and move around too much and I will enjoy myself to no end.

I will suffer for it, but it will be worth it. This is an annual Christmas party that I attend. It is a large gathering of many friends. Three years ago I made it to this party when I had been out of the hospital for less than three months. It was an important step for me. It took me a month, maybe more, to recover, but I would not have missed it for the world. That just happened to be the 20^th year that I had been going to this party with these people. It was fantastic. It went a long way towards making me feel better and like myself.

Damn straight I’m going this year.