OMG

Not too long ago I was on the phone talking to a nurse at a new doctor’s office. It was the usual sort of Q & A for a patient new to the practice: who referred you, what do you need to see the doctor about, give a brief history. I’m used to it, I’ve done it quite a few times – the only problem is making the history brief. So I’m talking to this very nice nurse and I tell her the very short version of my story. “Oh my God.” That was her response; or words to that effect. It wasn’t the first time that I’ve heard that sort of exclamation, but it was a while before I realized why I was getting it.

I used to think that it was because of what was wrong with me and how long I was ill and all that had happened to me. Then I realized that it was because they were surprised that I was alive. Then it finally sunk in that not only was it because I was alive but I was actually talking to them.

This is all the nurse heard: In 2005 I got Legionnaires’ Disease, developed Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, sepsis and was in the ICU on a ventilator for almost 6 ½ weeks. That’s all it usually takes for a doctor or a nurse to make a comment. I don’t even get to explain that I was originally taken to the ER by ambulance because I had a blood oxygen level of 87 and dropping. Or that I was intubated all but the last few days I was in the hospital (normally they do a tracheostomy after a few days). Or that I was on dialysis for 3 – 4 weeks and my heart stopped once. The medical professionals don’t need that much information. They get to OMG right away.

Now, if only it was that obvious to me maybe this would be easier to get through. Oh well, at least I make an interesting patient.