Wringer, Been through the

Everything has been happening at once lately, or close enough together that it feels like it.

I recently had an appointment and for some reason visits with this doctor always take a lot out of me. It was just a follow-up, but they are always very comprehensive with her. So it wore me out.

I also had a full load of doctor visits that same week.

Then I got the notice about the Social Security hearing. This is a good thing, but it also sets off the worry response that I need to control and that is tiring and that makes me more frazzled.

I also had a very non-productive meeting with a State office person which went exactly as far as I expected; namely nowhere. But I knew this going in. This visit was just to confirm what I could not confirm over the phone because they just won’t do it that way. Eh. This was made more annoying because I took a wrong turn and got lost, in the sense that I sort of knew where I was but couldn’t find the office, and was late for the meeting. I did get some interesting information though, just in general terms, because even though the governmental department she worked for offered limited help, the person I talked to had something to offer.

Just before that there was a very good but very tiring meeting with a private – um – social worker type. I’m not sure what to call her. She is from a community reentry organization that works with people with brain injuries – I hate that term. Central nervous system insult I think some doctor once called it. That’s a bit better. This was paid for by the Traumatic Brain Injury Fund. Just the initial interview so far, but there’s no reason to believe they won’t fund more once things get rolling.

Anyway, she came to the house and we talked for quite a while. She is very experienced and skilled at this and much information was exchanged. More than I’ve had a chance to process yet. But she was nice, told me a lot, gave me some written info and told me about a local support group that I want to check out. I have some probably unrealistic hopes about this, but even realistically this looks like something good getting started.

On top of all of that I haven’t been sleeping. It’s even worse than usual. I did fall asleep in the recliner the other day, but all that did was mess up my neck and back. I slid down in the chair and when I woke up the nerves and muscles in my neck and back where spasming. The room wasn’t spinning, it was flipping up and down. For those of you old enough to remember it was like a TV with horizontal hold problems. My wife worked on my neck and back which helped enough to let me lie down and get some sleep. My neck cracked a bit and when I got up many hours later the dizziness had subsided.

Wow, I just looked at what I’ve written so far and boy what a self-indulgent whiny rant. Well, maybe not whiny, but I do seem to be complaining a lot. It’s just that I’ve been beaten down the last few weeks and I felt like getting it out. I’ve been much more active, just not in the ways that I had planned for June. Though what I did was probably more productive than anything that I had planned so there is that.

Now the question is this: just how far off of my track will I get if I make a plan for the rest of July? And will the non-scheduled things be productive?