Old words

While I haven’t been reading much, I realized that what I have read recently is old words: Rex Stout, Robert E. Howard and Isaac Asimov. I didn’t plan it that way. Of course the words are old because that’s just the way it is. It’s that the stories that are old, though except for the Asimov they were new to me (I reread Foundation and started on Foundation and Empire).

It gives me a view of the world from the authors’ perspectives. Howard looks back, Stout looks around and Asimov looks forward. I didn’t read these things looking for social commentary, I read them for fun. Sometimes the rest just happens on its own.

In the Nero Wolfe novel, it was just a few lines that were used to define the characters – very concisely and nicely sarcastic in one particular character’s voice. I got a glimpse of people from different backgrounds living through a time of change. For the novel, it tells you who the people are and how they fit together. For me, it shows me clues to where we came from and how our society got to where it is now.

I’ve only read the first story in a Howard anthology, so all I can see is a dramatically different style. It’s flamboyant, broad-brush, bold color characterization – well, dark colors in this one, but still rich. You have to be uninhibited to write like that. It’s fun and enticing.

Asimov is, well, Asimov, offering a calculated look at all of human nature as seen from the future. It’s the question of ‘where do we go from here?’ when the ‘here’ is the scientific maelstrom of the 1950s. Of course, science will show the way.

I did try some new stuff; I started a new fantasy novel at the end of last year, but I put that on the shelf. It’s entertaining, but long and not engaging. There just isn’t anything happening. I got halfway through a 700 page book, and if this is all a setup it better be for one heck of a payoff. I might not ever get to it though because I just don’t feel connected to the book. I figure I get credit for reading a book, though, since I’ve invested so much time and effort just to get to where I am.

I’ve been putting down books I just don’t get into, no matter what the reviews. I have a pile of books to sort through and old words to read.

Stockpiling, or maybe just piling things up

I have not been reading much lately. It’s been a combination of some of my medical problems and the fatigue associated with some of my other medical problems. I have also been going through some tests the insurance company required on top of the class I’ve been taking and it’s been all I could do just to get by.

Enough of that. I am going to try to reverse this abject decline in my consumption of fiction and non-fiction. Towards that end I am putting together a list from my to-be-read pile. Then I am going to attack it.

Wish me luck. I’m going in.

Culinary Literacy

I want a cookbook called There’s the Rub: BBQ in the works of William Shakespeare. I don’t think it exists anywhere but in my mind, but wouldn’t it be awesome if it did?

Motorcycle Insanity

I have nothing against motorcycles – except for the ones driven noisily down my residential not-a-through-street signed street. Really, I think they’re fine. I’ll probably never ride one because I don’t think it’s safe in my current condition, but that’s me. But sometimes I have to wonder about some of the people who do ride them.

I was coming home from my Mother’s yesterday, and as I neared my exit on the highway a half dozen motorcyclists entered the roadway from an on-ramp. Here is the scene. It is dusk, the road is pretty crowded, cars are entering and jockeying for an exit that comes up in less than a mile. The three lanes of high-speed traffic have to rearrange themselves to exit and those cars that enter the highway have to get out of the far right lane because that will become an exit very quickly.

Enter 6 motorcyclists who are speeding (OK, they’re not alone in that) and then cutting across lanes to get out of the exit lane. But they are not leaving enough room, they are cutting people off and they are passing between cars, not in lanes. They eventually spread out over three lanes – and then suddenly decide that they really did want the exit after all. Four of them start cutting back through traffic while one of them overshoots and makes it onto the shoulder to make a roundabout turn back onto the ramp. One rider misses the exit completely and by the cloud of smoke I thought he had wiped out but it was just smoke from his tires (I looked so I could call 911 if I had to). High speed panic braking in the center lane of a crowded highway is not my idea of safe driving.

I was paying close attention because I needed to get over into the exit lane. If I hadn’t been watching and anticipating their crazy riding, I could have killed 3 of the riders all while signaling and legally changing lanes. I didn’t really want to do that.

One of the reasons I’m posting about this is because I’m not sure that it qualifies as the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen by motorcycle riders on that same highway. The other contenders are 2 guys speeding down the same highway during a weekday evening rush hour. They’re in the running because they were popping wheelies in the middle lane.

I have seen some weird shit on that road.

And just a hint of mint

The Milky Way doesn’t taste like nougat. Scientists (you know, generic science guys in white lab coats or something) have discovered that the Milky Way Galaxy is just full of ethyl formate. Which means that the Milky Way tastes like raspberries. Apparently that’s the chemical that makes raspberries taste the way they do.

If you get the reference in the post title, well, then you know weirdly obscure things.

Forward, into the past

Actually, this is about moving forward, but I couldn’t resist that title. But first…

I am not the man I used to be.

Don’t worry, this isn’t really going to be one of those posts. In fact, I’m trying to move on. But, I am not the man I used to be and therein lies the source of the dilemma. I am not the man I used to be and I need to stop trying to be who I used to be but while I need to accept who I am now I also need to keep trying to get better so I need to face who I am in order to get past where I was but also move beyond where I am today. I am also looking to maintain my standing as a master of the run-on sentence.

I need to be who I am now and stop trying to reclaim the past. Then I can move on from here – which is really where you always start from anyway.

I have class

Now, some – OK, all – of you who know me will argue about this, but I have a receipt to prove it.

It should surprise none of you that my wife and I have been to many doctors many times. One particular practice has a billing office that is off-site, I think possibly Uranus. They have a very creative way of generating bills. I’m not sure if this was any impetus, but while discussing possible options for part-time work for me to look into, my wife and I came up with medical billing and coding.

At this point, some of you may be wondering what the heck I am thinking. I have all sorts of problems, I have no stamina and unless I could find someone willing to pay me to work three hours a week I’m not going to have any luck. On Friday, when I was talking to the doctor overseeing the neuropsych testing, I said that I would try anything if someone had a suggestion for a job. Her response was something along the lines of “What do you mean, if someone had a suggestion you’d try it? You can’t work. What could you try?”

The answer is simple. I know that I have problems. I know that I can’t work. I also know that I have no source of income, right now I am a waste of space and I have to do something about that. In other words: yes, I can’t work, BUT I HAVE TO TRY. So what if it sounds like a paradox, I can’t just sit around and do nothing. If I fail I fail, but if I don’t try I have already failed.

So, working on the firm belief and principle that I Have To Try Anything, I signed up for a course in Medical Billing and Coding. Yes, I am insane.

Like I said in an earlier post, I thought that I was ready; I was feeling pretty good about things; optimistic even. I was ready to try something new and take another major step on the road to recovery.

Slip. Stumble. Ooo, and he recovers and does not fall! But that was a pretty impressive wobble there.

Dang this is draining. I am exhausted. On the other hand I am still doing it. The class started the end of January (there was a hint about this in an earlier post) and runs through next week. I am one stubborn clod and I will see this through. I am tired but I am conscious and active and doing a heck of a lot more than I could do last year. I am not good at this, yet, but damn I’m doing something. I’ll take credit for that.

I’ve still got a long way to go, but this is a step. And in its own way it’s interesting. At the very least I know more about what that flipping billing office should be doing.